**************************************************************
DEDICATION: To all people killed or who have lost family members or loved ones in terrorist attacks --
may their souls be bound up with the One and may their loved ones find comfort and healing.
This feature is a way for those who would like to help me continue my studies to do so. These emails are free to all who ask to be part of the list,
and will remain so. If you would like to support these efforts and dedicate one to someone or just to support it, I welcome that.
**************************************************************
If you would like to sponsor a dedication for a week's d'var, please email me.
**************************************************************
------------------------------------------------
Introduction
------------------------------------------------
Ah yes, the mystery of the Red Cow. And the insert of the Balak/Balaam story with the talking donkey. Lots of fighting and bloodshed and bad feelings. Hot summer days and flashing storms.
Anger and hurt and distancing from the One. Today's news carries a story about a man who worked in a factory for 19 years suddenly (was there no warning?) goes on a shooting spree, killing several coworkers and then himself. Others describe him as racist and "angry".
Another story is about the arrest after 17 years of a man accused of raping and killing a 10-year old girl in her bed while her siblings and parents slept in the same house. The article quoted the girl's father as saying: "I don't want him to have the death penalty. Give him 17 years of pure hell, and then give him the death sentence."
In another part of the article, the father is also quoted as saying things like: "I am surprised who it really is, but yes, I knew him, ...." and when asked later if he knew the suspect, the father said yes, that they "hung out" together, even in the family's home. When the reporter asked what he was like, the father replied: "Well, he had tried to kill me once. He almost strangled me to death. And he had a rotten attitude that I caught on him, snappy, smart with people. And my children." When asked if he suspect this person, the father answered: "He was one of the three that I thought probably did it. And he's one out of the three that I haven't seen for almost 18 years. I never caught him on the street. (Addressing suspect) And if I had, Ray, I don't think I'd be here standing. ... Because I would have killed you instantly, the way you did my daughter. I hope you rot in hell, you bastard." This is contrasted with another statement by the father: "God has been good. He has answered my prayers, and I pray time and time again, and I am a strong believer that your prayers are answered once you let God come into your heart."
Now, we cannot possibly know what is going on inside this man and I am confident that his emotions are going all over the place. The confusion in his statements are probably reflective of the tremendous upheaval inside him as the reporter caught him in this incredible time for him. Nothing can compensate a person for a child that they lose -- nothing can compensate a person for any loved one that they lose. The best we can really hope for is some closure and healing and a scar we can live with.
These are hurting times and there are so many opportunities to be "angry".
A friend of mine is in Israel right now for the yahrzeit of her son later this month. He was killed when he was a soldier, not because of terrorism or external enemies, but because of an unstable officer over him with whom he had had "a few words" when the soldier had returned early from a week-long leave. The 20 year old ended up dead in a large scandal that was splashed all over the Israeli newspapers which his mother saw when she arrived in Israel after his death.
Anger is a typical response to any hurt that we feel and when we allow it to grow inside us, we actually fester the wound which raised it in the first place.
At a recent class we were talking about family dynamics and how anger wells up and is carried in families for a long time and what it takes to move from the anger to healing. The saddest part about anger is that it does more to destroy the person harboring it than the original act did which caused the anger in the first place.
Much of this section of Torah is about anger, confrontation and the harm it does. Last weeks' Parsha was about group anger between Moshe and Korakh and other leaders in the community. This Parsha also talks about several aspects of anger -- what can be done to minimize it and help people release it?
------------------------------------------------
1. Parsha details: Num 19:1-25:9 [ Haftorah Micah 5:6-6:8 ]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. Questions and a few observations
Summary:CHUKAT: Red Heifer, purification procedures (may nida), Miryam's death and burial,the water of Meribah, Kadesh of Edom and the battle, appointing of Eleazar and death of Aharon, fight with Arad, the Canaanite, poisonous snakes, camp movements, battle with Sihon of the Amorites, battle with Og of Bashan. BALAK: Balak hires Bilaam to curse Yisra'el, Bilaam has an experience with his donkey, who talks, three occasions of contracted curses becoming blessings, Yisra'el mingling with Mo'av/Midian and Pin'khas slaying an openly rebellious man and the Midianite woman he brought into the camp.
This week's Parsha has in it the act that is credited with preventing Moshe from coming into the land after the 40 years. It is obviously a key event, even though it might not appear so at first.
Much has been written about what is happening. Did Moshe denigrate the people when he called them moriym (embittered ones, fools, rebels) before the rock? Did it therefore refuse to give any water? Did he speak to the wrong rock (Rashi's understanding) and it did not give water?
Or is it that Moshe was supposed to foster through his leadership an appreciation that the One can cause water to flow even from a rock when it is needed and sought for in peace and with gentleness? This was such a tumultuous time - Israel is trying to heal from the rebellion and from plagues and wars and such strife. Miryam has just died, the people are distraught and impatient and the One instructs Moshe and Aharon to "speak" to the rock so that the water may flow from it and the people's (and their animals') thirst might be alleviated. (It is worth noting that Torah makes a special point about mentioning that the animals are to be watered as well.)
Unfortunately, Moshe's is also feeling these same emotions and his temper is not what it might be in better times. Moshe is certainly known for his temper, as we saw even last week in the way he handled the rebellion, needing a sharp reminder from the One that his job was to help Israel live, not die.
And in this Parsha he is also grieving. After all, Miryam was his sister, the one he felt deeply enough about to utter his plaintive prayer to the One to heal her when she was stricken with the leprosy a few parshiot back.
And the people are being their normal cranky selves, quarreling with Moshe (it says this explicitly), saying things like that they wished they were dead (be careful what you wish for....), why did they leave Egypt, and so on. Moshe and Aharon respond by falling in prayer before the Holy One. Moshe is instructed to take the rod (now, why would YHVH want Moshe to have the serious temptation of a rod in his hand at a time like this if not to use it?), assemble the people in front of the rock and speak nicely to the rock so that it can give water to the people.
Even Moshe might have seen this as a set-up if he was not also distraught. He grabs the rod, schleps the people together in front of the rock, probably on a hot summery desert day (how many of us wouldn't grumble -- mountain climbing is not exactly refreshing and cooling without a shortage of water). Can you imagine what it must have been like? I can see Moshe saying something like "Follow me and stand for a while in front of this rock so I can show you something." Now, the people are thirsty, they are worried about their animals and Moshe wants them to stand around in front of a rock. How long to think it takes to gather 600,000 people in front of a rock? It would have been a major miracle (one harder to believe than the water, actually) if the people did not grouse and grumble. And Moshe, who knew this people well, responds to their grumbling by beating up on the poor rock (twice). And it gushes forth with water. (Midrash says lots of water)
Oy -- the setup was perfect. He could have been such a role model. It was what YHVH asked of him. How long did he have to be patient in order to carry out the directions he had been given?
Even Moshe was human. He could not go the extra to be kind and patient, and so he beat the rock (who didn't do anything but wait patiently) and the people did not get the message about how to act Godly - in fact, they probably got quite a different message.
But if Moshe was just being human, why was being human and losing his temper one more time enough to keep him from getting into the Land? One possibility is because he didn't get the rest of the lesson, either. In Deuteronomy, several times, he will tell the people that they caused YHVH to be angry with him and not allow him into the land. The failing was not in the people, it was in Moshe. He is the one who had a chance to do something really great, exalt the One -- and he blew it.
The people were ALWAYS grousing and quarreling -- and beating down rebellion and quarrels only works for a while. Moshe KNEW that we are a stubborn self-pitying people -- we play that role so well, especially in Torah. And so Moshe needed to remember that and create a beautiful moment that might have let us question our own motives and doubts. It might have been enough to teach us that gentleness and kindness are effective also. Instead, the people probably feared him even more and thereby became distanced from the One instead of being brought closer.
And Moshe never could own his own role in this fiasco, even in the days before his own death. Even Aharon's death does not bring the message home to him. He is operating on "autopilot" through Aharon's death -- but at least he and the people could mourn the full 30 days before going on -- something that had not happened at Miryam's death.
We are taught that YHVH judges based on the moment and repentance is key. Well, Moshe does not exhibit repentance, even at the end. Perhaps that is why these waters are called strife.
------------------------------
3. Some Observations
Another bit of strife associated with this Parsha is the interchange between Edom (Esav) and Yisrael -- an early indication of the hostility between brothers that would plague our history for quite some time. In this Parsha, the Israelites ask the Edomites for passage through their land by way of the Kings Highway. Numb 20 record the request and response as:
17. Let us pass, please, through your land; we will not pass through the fields, or through the vineyards, nor will we drink of the water of the wells; we will go by the king's highway, we will not turn to the right hand nor to the left, until we have passed your borders.
18. And Edom said to him, You shall not pass through me, lest with the sword I come out against you.
19. And the people of Israel said to him, We will go by the highway; and if I and my cattle drink of your water, then I will give merchandise for it; it will be like nothing, I will pass through by foot.
20. And he said, You will not go through. And Edom came out against him with hefty people, and with a strong hand.
21. Thus Edom refused to give Israel passage through his border; and Israel turned away.
This is one of those passages where what isn't said is almost as powerful as what is said. Why would Edom (Esav) not allow passage through the land? Well, first of all, Yisrael has been trekking up from Mitzrayim for some time now. There has been considerable fighting with different peoples through whose land they came. Having lived in Mitzrayim for 400+ years, they no longer look like neighbors, even if they are related. The parting between Esav and Yaakov was far from friendly anyway. People have probably been talking about Moshe's temper and how that plays out in the Israelite community, let alone in others.
Then there is the text in this passage. First Yisrael says, we won't touch anything. Then they say that IF they do help themselves to something, they will trade merchandise for it. (Pay for it). Hmm. Let's look for a minute at verse 19. There are two separate things being said. First, Moshe sends a messenger and there is a rejection. (this is like the first time Balak sends messenger to Balaam) Then the people say, "look, we are just going to go by the highway [so it's no big deal, no skin off your nose, as they say]" This comment doesn't even warrant a response, so someone (probably Moshe) says, "Look, if anyone does as much as drink water, we'll pay for it -- this is no big deal, we are traveling by foot".
Now, if Yisrael is taking 40 years to travel an 11-day journey (from Mitzrayim to the Land), how long would it have taken them to cross though Edom? And can 600,000+ war-capable men and their families travel through anywhere with their cattle, sheep, etc and NOT impact the land, even (or especially) if they are traveling by foot (slowly).
This is a business discussion -- and Yisrael does not offer to pay for the benefit they would have received by going through Edom, and they have demonstrated that they are going to be miserly and picky about what they are going to pay for (who gets to assess the damage and determine the price? sounds like Yisrael is giving themselves that option -- so this also about ego and control).
Edom would have perceived allowing Yisrael safe passage as costing something and as providing a service. Although Yisrael grumbles about not being allowed through, we did not offer to pay for these services and benefits. And so we did not get them and we grumbled and went around Edom.
This is contrasted with the similar request made to Sikhon (King of the Amorites), except that here they did not say "please". Sikhon responds by "gathering" all of [the fighting folk of] his people" and goes out of his own land to confront Yisrael. A battle ensues and Sikhon is destroyed and Yisrael takes all of his land and cities. (21:21-26)
The approach to Edom was softer and, although Edom did not let us through, all they did was "demonstrate their readiness" to stop Yisrael from coming through. With Sikhon, the request is more curt. He responds by a challenge in the desert which becomes an all-out war. Yisrael was no small force and what we get from these little vignettes is a glimpse into what must have been a very ritualized contact procedure that defined the potential roles between peoples who were migrating and those who already dwelled in the cities and in the lands. It does not sound like Yisrael was traveling in a passive, non-assertive manner.
In fact, it sounds like they were perceived of as being quite hostile and dangerous. Based on the military action, one might think that the opinion was justified. Was an aggressive nature critical to survival back then? We are not truly in a position to judge.
Now that Yisrael was a sizable armed people, was peace an impossibility? Were resources in the desert meager to support the people and their herds -- or was the meagerness of resources merely a false perception? Obviously, regardless of the answer to these hypothetical questions results in the warfare and hostilities which typify this period. The sad part is that neither we nor our fellow humans have not learned to move beyond greed and the perception of scarcity to create real peace. It think the hidden message in this part of the parsha is that failing to move into a better place will always result in bitterness and even violence, even when the tents are beautiful and the Mishkan is awesome. (Num 24:5)
-----------------------------
4. Intimate Expansion
Intimate -- the place deep inside us. It is only from this place that we can begin to cleanse our Self and make it Tahor - pure enough to approach the One. And it is only when we allow that glow and wonder-ness to expand through us and into the world that we can move beyond anger and impatience. Then we can help others see that because we are partners with the One and have been given responsibility and free will that we are, in fact, the result of our actions and decisions in the past. If we truly want a future of peace and good will, we need to start to work on that now -- and we need to start with our own inner Self in that effort.
Then we can see that (Hesed) Mercy is the heart of the (Yesod) Foundation of Life.
----------------------------------
5. Rav Sholom (z'l) used to say.....
In order to be properly appreciated, Hesed needs to be balanced with Gevura. The water coming from the rock is Hesed. It waters the people and the cattle and flows so abundantly that it gushes. However, when it flows too freely it can drown people and animals and be utterly destructive. Mercy is not served when the flow is too abundant and not appropriate. In this account, the Holy One is good to us in that the excess Hesed is simply returned to the Earth and she drinks it and no one is drowned.
However, Gevura or restraint was not present. Moshe was that force and he was charged with embodying that quality. Had he done that, then Tiferet could have made a courting call to the Bride and she would have seen how handsome he is. But because Moshe became angry and beat the rock, he prevented the appearance of Tiferet and the Bride did not get a chance to visit with her Groom. And this, too, delayed the next step.
----------------------------------
6. Exercises
1. Water and rocks: Arrange some different rocks in a bowl. Splash some water into the bowl onto the rocks. Vary the amount and force of the water as you repeat this action several times. Consider a waterfall. Consider a still pond. Consider what is revealed as water makes things wet and what is revealed when water washes us. Consider what is hidden within the water and beneath its surface. Can you see how deep the water is? Feel the water. What does it mean to be immersed in a mikvah (ritual water bath)?
2. Red: Consider the Red Cow, the red things burned with her (plant, redwood, cedar, scarlet cloth). Consider conflict and "seeing red". Consider spilt blood. Consider flame. What other things are red? What do they mean? How do they make you feel?
3. Passing on the responsibility. When Aharon died, the people saw that his garments were now on Eliezer, his son. Aharon went up the mountain to die and was never seen again. The people never saw his body. They did see Miriam's body and where she was buried. What is the role of visual signals in the flow of life. How did these signals and messages assist or hamper the flow of authority and tradition?
------------------------------------
ADS: ALEPH -- the Alliance for Jewish renewal. www.aleph.org If you aren't a member yet, please give very serious consideration to joining. The magazine, New Menorah, alone, is worth whatever you give. (Plus it helps pay for the rabbinic program where I am studying!)
You can order the Torah Cards and my jewelry through Mercaz at (216)595-0707 -- ask for Larry)
--------------------------------------------------
There are many traditional interpretations of the parsha that I neither talk about nor mention. That is done from a position of space. I trust that the average reader is either familiar with these or can find many of them easily in other commentaries readily available.
Thanks for reading this. If I have offended you, please forgive me -- that was not my intention. If you found some joy or happiness in reading this, thank you for allowing me to be a part. If you found a reason to think about something more deeply - kol hakavod and thank you!
And to the people giving me feedback thank you so much! I enjoy all of it. (Including the typos) You have made this weekly practice wonderful.
b'v'rakha,
Candy
(c) 2003 Candy Lobb All rights reserved
